Balance Isn’t a Formula, It’s a Feeling
When we talk about balance, I think most people imagine some sort of perfect split. Eight hours for work, eight hours for sleep, and eight hours for everything else (which is A LOT). To be honest, I’ve always struggled with balance. So I consider this to be a reminder to myself, and I really hope it can serve you too!
For a long time, I confused balance with having everything in control. A color-coded calendar (still obsessed with that, though), the perfect routine, a minimum number of workouts per week, a specific amount of sleep... Yes, it gave me the illusion of control. No, it didn’t give me the feeling of balance.
More often than I’d like to admit, I still measure my balance with check-lists and habit-trackers. But that kind of “measured” balance is exhausting. And it’s also not real. Because balance isn’t flawless. You can’t capture it in a formula or a perfect ratio between work, relationships, and self-care. Balance is much softer than that. It’s much deeper than that. And it is seasonal. Balance changes as you change.
What balance isn’t
Let’s start there, right?
Because balance is not hustle culture with a few yoga classes sprinkled in to soften the heaviness of it all. (Note: I fall for that one a lot.) It’s not binge-watching Netflix or doom-scrolling Instagram until you fall asleep and calling it “rest”. It’s not trying to control every single part of your life and confusing that sense of control with inner calm. And, maybe most importantly, it’s not a skill that you can master once and use that for the rest of you life. Balance is something you feel. It’s something you recognize. And let me tell you: personally, I recognize it especially when it’s off…
Spotting imbalance
How do you know when you are not balanced? For me, it shows up in various ways:
Feeling rushed, restless, or anxious, even when technically I am '“resting”
Resenting things I normally love (like when my workouts start to feel like obligations instead of energy-givers)
Feeling disconnected from myself, people around me, and/or my purpose
Dragging myself to social activities that usually bring me energy, but now drain the last bit of social battery I had left
It’s moments like these, where I notice something is off and I need to change something to realign my energy.
What balance really looks like
For me, real balance starts with checking in with myself.
Asking what my body needs, what my energy feels like, and whether that aligns with what I’m doing and where I want to go.
It can look like saying no to dinners with friends. Not because I don’t want to see them, but because I need to protect my energy or focus on something else.
It can look like knowing (and accepting) that some weeks are very work-heavy, which means less time and energy for heavy workouts.
It can look like paying attention to my available energy instead of my available hours.
Balance is allowing joy, play, and fun to be just as valid as productivity. It is setting boundaries. With myself (“no, I am not going to that intense HIIT class at 7AM in the morning after only 5 hours of sleep, because I need rest), with my colleagues (“no, I am not joining the after-works drinks, because I want to go home and work on my next event for LÉPHIINE), with my friends (“no, I am not joining that party, because my social battery is 0% and I need some alone-time at home) and family (“no, I can’t FaceTime tonight, because don’t want to interrupt the work-flow that I am in).
Balance as seasons, not perfection
So, balance doesn’t mean everything is equal all the time. Some moments in life require a push of hard work and dedication. Other moments invite us to slow down and restore. Just like nature, we move in seasons. And when we start honoring those seasons instead of resisting them, balance starts to feel more naturally.
Small re-alignments
Often, you don’t really need a massive lifestyle change to come back to your balance-state. It is usually small shifts that bring you back to yourself. This can be breathing exercises, saying no to plans so you can have some time by yourself, lighting a candle and journaling before going to bed instead of scrolling Instagram, and simply reminding yourself that rest is productive, too.
Balance isn’t a prize that you need to earn. It’s not a formula that you need to figure out. It’s a feeling and a practice. An ongoing conversation with yourself. It changes an it evolves, just like you do. Maybe the question isn’t really how to find balance, but rather “how can I discover what balance feels like for me in this moment of my life?”.